Mike Minch, Ernest and Don Fallis do a never ending run...
It's over now, but it is Tuesday and I am still dragging a bit, still finding myself standing in the kitchen wondering why I am there, still as edgy as shattered glass and just as likely to crack or cut. And I didn't do the whole damn thing, just about 50 to 55 of it. What am I droning on about? Don's latest BW training run that's what, and it was a gem, and one for the history books, at least my history book. We were supposed to meet at Don's before 5:00 am and head out at 5:00. But I ran into some snags and tried to intercept them at Castle Hospital in Kailua. I got there and headed back up the road, ducking in at Maunawili and taking the old road up, almost reaching Castle Ranch Office when I just figured I'd missed them and turned around and headed back to the car. Fact was if I had continued going I would have run into them in ten minutes or so. But I didn't and I drove back and forth on the Highway finding them just as they hit the other old section of the road past the Detention Center. So we get all that sorted out and run into Waimanalo all good and fairly easy, a beautiful day and the road through Waimanalo a pleasant sojourn in the off street areas and then along the coast, the long coastal road, such a pleasent drive in a car but very long if you intend to stride to Makapu'u, it's always surprising how it just goes on and on as if you have lost yourself in some detour into an older Hawaii, where time thickens, slows and the pace of life is sluggish enough to let you breath a bit now and then while your feet wade through the thick haze of road dust, but the trouble is you stay there a very long time sweating and wandering down the unending road looking for the exit gate while you pace a life time over the wavy curvy road, Old Hawaii just slow reeling by your vision, the waves breaking on your left, the hot sun over head heating you up, and the water in your camel warm and disappearing at a rapid rate, you keep going though because there is nothing else to do and then you are through and there is Makapu'u and water and the bright spirits of the bay playing along the edges of the waves which are coming up out of glassy deep blue sea like whales rising suddenly out of the deep and then the water breaking beautifully out there on the point, such pretty lefts, such nice drops, and we hump up the hill, those guys in the water just taking those drops down the blue glass the billowing foam dancing out before them, it is so nice out there in the water, I can just feel it, all that coolness hitting me like a soft bank of snow surrounding me, while above us this fellow is gliding by on the soft cool breezes his parasail making a whirring sound as the wind hits the shrouds and he moves over us as we struggle up the hill chasing Earnest who is running along with a biker giving him a happy hard time, and we all laugh at that even the biker, that's Earnest for you, and one last look at the break, such a wonderful glassy swell, then we are up and over the land rocky dry and scrubby and down the hill we go, only to turn in and head up toward the Light out on the point and it is just around that first bend, or so I tell Earnest hoping to get him to give it a good hump and me just holding back knowing that the turn is eternal and never ending and the hill just as forever up and windy up where you can look out all the way past Sandy's and the beach were they filmed Kirk Douglas getting a legendary good time from here to eternity as far as Kokohead and then we run on and out toward the deep dark sea where Earnest is starting to give me some ragging about it being just around the corner which it isn't and that becomes half the day's recurring joke where everything was just around the corner and five minutes away so we run and run and run up toward the last curve and I am telling Earnest his is going to beat me to those people standing over there which is where I am not going, and when Earnest who is many paces ahead of me asks "This way?' I harrumph and he seems to think I said 'Yes" which is not what a harrumph says, so he beats me to where I am not going and I shout down at him from the top with a big smile on my face, got to use every tool in the kit sometimes, don't you know, standing there at the top we look out past Waimanalo, the Mokes and Mokapu'u, and just make out the upper edges of cliffs of Kualoa at the farthest reaches of Kaneohe, we all stand there happy with the day looking around peaceful and content in the bright sun and then head sown past the marker that notes the men who died in the PBY just below us in 1942, bang right into the cliff, hard way to go but quick, and we head down laughing about the games we had played on the way up and the rich air filling us with soft satisfaction and the hill giving us a ride down toward the next section of long hot endless black highway that snakes around past the golf course and to the traffic light there at Wawamalu where I take the turn and run down the sidewalk and find a place to hide in the bushes so when Don and Earnest come around I am gone I am so fast up the road and around the turn until Don spots me and then we hump the road to the hill which is another run to the top and down to the fields where a large number of young kids kick the shit out of each other in what is evidently a national pastime and we water and head through the labyrinth of hot sidewalks of Hawaii Kai to that Seven Eleven on the Marathon loop at the back of the valley, and a tuna fish sandwich and water, and we are off again heading toward that long nasty noisy sweltering Kalaneaneole which goes on past Kuliouou into Niu Valley where we find Vernon and some sweet fruit and a fresh pair of legs then past Kawakui to Aina Haina then the Coast Guard housing and fire station at Wailupe on toward Waialae, Kalaniki and finally that steep ridge off Ainakoa and we stumble on toward the Arco station which it isn't anymore, and hoofin is getting hard and it's hot and not too much fun and we have talked and laughed ourselves out but Vernon's fresh legs carry us on and he and Don are out front and laughing and talking and Earnest and I just fighting to keep up, each of us dealing with some nagging pain that makes the concrete sidewalks and road harder and longer than it should be till we come near the end and Vernon turns around, and we all thank him for getting us over that big hump and we go on to where we find Fish waiting with chips and coke and we get more food, and we stand around our minds drifting off in the cool breezes as our bodies scream and dance as the food finds it ways into our cells, then it is time and we make our way along the edge of the golf course, where Don is warned that he is out of bounds and should put his club back in his bag hahahahaha it's getting kind of late in the day and we got another hour to Waikiki as we move down Keaaolu and onto Kahala which keeps turning to reveal another edge and it is not too bad as the cokes are making us talkative and we entrance ourselves with our wit and humor and dream up a Mango Madness man who looks like a mean mister potatohead hahahahaha We are going to Don Ho's send off and we have come from the Hygienic Store and that's right we have 'run' all the way and then we are through Kahala and up to the surfer spots and pass runners and bikers who look at us strange as we are not fresh and sweet and out there running without a bottle and being cool but smelly and haggard and smiling crazed we are so glad to be getting to the half way point at the Zoo end of Kalakaua where there are people starting to move toward the beach and the canoes can be seen down at the Royal and it something, but we have come down and now we got to go back and there is no standing around because it is so late in the day and it is back along the Marathon course hurting all of us in some way or another and then Don has us play the On my Hundred mile run I pack my Apple Shuffle, baseball hat, Cannola bars, Deet, Ear phones, Fritos, Gue, Hat, IDIOT,Jalpeneos, Kite, Life savers, Mongoose, Nikioa Phone, Opossum, Purse, Q-ray bracelet, Razor, Switchblade, Telescope, a Urologist, Visine, Water bottle, a Xenephobe, Yoga Mat, Zebraskin tights (aka Cheryl's tiger stripes) and that first hill up out around Diamond Head is through just as we head down past the old Fort Rugger gate out toward Kapiolani College then right at 18th and down past the Veteran's Cemetary and take the turn along that long loop of Kilauea onto Hunakai that brings us back to the Arco station which it is not anymore and another tuna sandwich and water and then we look at each other and shoulder our gear and head back down the highway Waiele, Laukahi, Kaimoku, Wailupe, Punahele, a quick stop at Kawaikui, past Pu'uikena to Niuiki, all these wander by like an old Hawaiian curse with Kalanianeole going dusky as the light begins to fade but the heat still rising up off the road making it hot despite the late late afternoon sun and we make one step at a time and each of us pushing a bit when we can, trying to get us going just a bit faster as the day is winding down but we still have a long long way to go so far into the night its hard to think about and we just do sections which get smaller and shorter and longer all the same and it already looks like it is going to last into the morning so we push on and Bob and Barbie drive by and we think about waiting for them but keep on going seeing as how they know where we are and we joke that the surprise he promised would be they were going to town and just honked leaving us out there, and when it looked like that was indeed the surprise they show up with some salty chips and cheese dip and salsa which we eat and eat and laugh an Bob takes pictures as the the last rays of the evening sun sparkle overhead and Barbie looking fresh and clean and beautiful and... excuse us.. and we quickly start off into the sudden night the road a bit different but still hot we are sweating in the night all the way down to Lunalilo Home Road, and did you ever really think about how far back in the valley it goes because it goes and goes and Don is surprised when we spend a good 45 before we even get out of the valley and up over the hump into Kalama which is dark but not bad as the streets are OK down toward Wawamalu beach but heading back toward Kaloko it gets pitch black and we have only one light and the glare of the car lights make it hard to see and those guys are all crazy and I am ready to jump off the road at each step which makes it kind of hard to move forward at times and the shoulder is bad and bumpy and at night it is worse and on around the big snaky curve and back there where the golfers hang out in the daylight, then we are on the Makapu'u Hill and we go up the left side because it should be safer but it is terrible footing and I won't go that way again as you can die out there if you stumble at the wrong time, but we get to the top and then on down hugging the cliff netting to the pull off where we watch the Makapu'u waves breaking in the dark, the foam almost glowing and it is so peaceful but the road is nasty and won't stop being out there in the dark and we get down to the water at a desolate Makapu'u Beach with Rabbit island asleep in the distance, all dark and shadowed, and we push on toward the pier which sits out in the dark water in front of us as we wind around those curves and it keeps drifting off in the ocean unchained from the land, carried off in the trades, it takes so long to get there, when I tell Don it will take another hour to get to the Seven Eleven and Fish's promised Pizza he is incredulous but it takes all of 50 minutes from the wayward pier to there, 50 long sweaty minutes down a bad stretch of road much of it with the traffic coming up behind us as the other side is bad, with little light, and now I am waiting to hear the cars come rolling up on us bowling us down like ten pins, but it goes well and when we stagger into the parking lot literally at our edge of endurance there is no Fish and the Pizza is still a long way off and we head in to get water but just then he pulls up and we have pizza and cokes and water, and these iced wash rags that cool the heat that is poaching our brains, and Heather and her mother show up and its a real party and people are looking at us wondering what is going on and when they overhear us talking about 50 something miles they just look at us and nod, crazy people are not really threatening and it is obvious we are crazy as you only need to look at us and see what the highway has done to our faces, and we laugh and eat and thank Fish and say goodbye to Heather and her mother, and Fish sends each of us off with packages of some little fruit balls in chocolate, and the road is not too bad as we are renewed and push and push and it is still long and dark, into Waimanalo town and out around the curve and it is after 11:00 and up the hill and down and there is my car and I bail, sorry guys I am done in, and I have to sing loud to keep myself awake on the drive over the Pali, and I stumble into the house the same time the guys are coming home from Waikiki and what did you do tonight, don't tell me Mike as I can see it was something that is too terribly painful to even listen to and I shower and eat and the when I hit the bed I float down into the mattress forever and once again I am out there in the darkness of Kaloko running with the spirits along the lost trails of Oahu and I run all night through a disoriented sleep..........© mnmuench 5/2007
Labels: Bad Water, Don Fallis, HURT Training
